Monday, 19 September 2016

The one where everything changes......... and doesn't

Please forgive the "Schrodinger’s cat" title and my inexcusable tardiness for which I will, as always, attempt to make an excuse. Lots has changed in the months following my last update and I’ll begin with the obvious.

As many of you know, I’ve been persevering with an Exec. MBA at the University of Exeter for around the last three years. It was a fantastic experience and the qualification offers real-world grounding to people who care about the legacy that they leave behind more than the personal gain that they accumulate. I was forced to take a six month break to battle the cancer jabberwocky but soon got back up to full steam and handed in my final consulting project on Friday (I’m keeping my fingers crossed for a distinction but am cutting that characteristically fine).

I'm not afraid to admit that the celebrations to mark this achievement saw me fall off the wagon in spectacular style (thanks sis!) but I'm now well and truly back-on and ready to roll.

The rather frustrating question I endure now is…… "So what happens now?". Truth is, I have no idea. I think I’m suffering from post-MBA blues (I Googled it, it’s a thing) as I guess I expected everything to change in an instant, it’s a bit like finishing cancer treatment - you expect to feel ecstatic but instead you feel defeated and drained. 

I keep on reminding myself that eighteen months ago I would gladly have swapped a mustard-gas chemo infusion for the post MBA blues and that’s exactly what I need…. some perspective.

Last week I was offered a date for my reconstructive surgery so, all being well, I’ll go under the knife on 21st November for DIEP flap reconstruction. It’s a pretty brutal procedure for which I will be at the pleasure of the NHS for the best part of two weeks but in a rather twisted way, I’m actually looking forward to it. I’ve stalked and snared one of the most respected breast surgeons in the world and get a tummy-tuck for good measure so can spend the next couple of weeks stuffing my face as I'm "growing a new boob" as a lovely fellow survivor so beautifully puts it. 

This will be the first procedure that I’ll undergo which is not directly attacking the cancer, it’s going to give me a much-needed slice of normality and I can’t wait to see the results. 

I promise to get back to blogging now that my commute has been reclaimed by Candy Crush and free newspapers - many of you know, those are two things that won’t hold my attention for long. 

Thanks for being so understanding & please keep donating to Breast Cancer Now - it really does make a difference