As the glorious British sunshine marks the end of one chapter, the fact that I now have to use factor 50 suncream reminds me that this journey is not yet over.
I had my radiotherapy set-up meeting with the Oncologist last week where I was measured up and drawn all over with marker pen (note to self: make sure you clarify when marker pen will be used and avoid arranging a meeting with your boss straight afterwards). I was then moved in and out of the CT scanner like a broken sewing machine needle while they fine-tuned the settings and sealed the deal with 2 fetching permanent tattoos; why they insist on using sailor-blue and can’t give me brown dots I will never understand, cancer has taken a lot away from me but last week gave me my very first tattoos - thanks for that!
I can probably no longer get away with failing to reference Nathan’s blog post…. I must admit, as he’d done such a brilliant job with the articles he’d written for LVIS I was keen to book his services as a guest writer - my visions of being able to chuckle as he recounted our journey using his trademark wit and irony were naive and selfish of me, sometimes I forget how hard all of this is on him, least of all when I come home in tears as others have either sought to profit from my situation or have reminded me about my bleak prognosis by sharing an inappropriate lemon story. He wants to be able to protect me but can’t, I had no idea how hard that is on him and I am determined to play my part in rebuffing such nastiness as it is dished-out!
Following the rather unsuccessful 2 mile outing last week, I met-up with Nicola my rather brilliant partner in crime and we headed out on the bikes for what would normally be a leisurely 15 mile circuit; as I crawled up Swineshead Hill and interrupted the ride with a rather uncharacteristic sobbing fit I realised that this is going to be one of the hardest steps of all - accepting that things will not magically go back to the way they were, it’s going to take all of the grit and determination left in me to do it but those of you closet to me have already proven that I will never be left to do it alone - it’s to those of you who have stuck with us through thick and thin that I owe more than I can ever repay.