As I successfully tick-off chemo round five and breathe-in the gorgeous Dartmoor air before retreating to my cave to endure the inevitable onset of side-effect roulette, I'd like to share with you some truths that I have reconciled in my mind following the self-absorbed week of darkness from which I am now emerging:
- I have been incredibly fortunate throughout my life, I've lived in some of the most fascinating corners of the world, developed life-long friendships along the way and can boast a very large and loving family. My parents have sacrificed so much to give my sister and I the best possible start in life and for that I am eternally grateful. They have taught us that when opportunity doesn't knock then it's up to you to build a door.
- Although it breaks my heart that we will never be able to have another child of our own, we are blessed with a kind, gentle and beautiful little girl (like her Daddy) who is hellbent on challenging the world around her (no idea where she gets that from...!) I'm going to make the most of every precious moment I have with her and will always remind her how much she is loved.
- My husband is awesome and gorgeous and will be one of the most successful bike shop owners in the country.
- I'm going to face my prognosis head-on. I have stage IIIc cancer, my chances of being alive within the next 5 years are anywhere between 41% and 67%. I'm lucky that my cancer is hormone receptive so hormone therapy should help to keep me at the upper-end of these odds but I'm now going to place a much heavier emphasis on the power of positive thinking.
- Once radiotherapy is over, we have some lovely trips and celebrations to look forward with some of our amazing friends.
- I don't care what the narrow-minded oi-baldie-shouting imbeciles think, I am going to embrace the baldness. My hair will grow back, they will spend their lives wishing they'd tried harder at school!